Meds, take two

Yeah, the internet sucks royally.  I wrote out everything all eloquently, but then it got deleted because of an outage.  So yeah, you now get the crazier, me trying to remember what I wrote, and typed up hastier version.
The meds that I wrote about last time worked for a while, but then I realized I was gaining an amazing amount of weight.  It was causing even worse, constant paralyzing panic attacks, and I didn't want anyone to see me, ever.  I was also changing my diet for the better and starting to work out in my home, so I should have at least been staying even for weight.  But no.  So the doctor gave me a new prescription, and everything would have been fine, except that it's expensive, so I freaked out over the price, and didn't get it for too long, and went without any meds for a while... It got really bad.  I finally just said that we had to, and gave up seeing the chiropractor to get them.
They seem to be working pretty good.  I've been feeling better, and am getting through the holidays with happy feelings.  It's nice.  I even got a camera for christmas (early) so I'll write about more cheerful things like presents and post pics soon.
I want to do stuff with people, but probably won't make the first contact for fear of, well, people.  Friends, and people who want to get to know me better, I'm not always this crazy, and I'm getting better, so I apologize for the crazy/ lack of communication.  But just initiate something, and I'll do it.
Your friend, even through the silence,
Jenny

Whistle While You Work

I've been cleaning.  And cooking.  And cleaning.  And drying herbs.  More cooking.  More cleaning.  Not just surface stuff, the deep stuff.  I'm also helping a friend build a yarn swift.  He's designing it and doing all the hard stuff, I'm helping where I can.  I wish I could do more, but what can I do?  Next is building custom shelves.  I'm changing lots of stuff up and moving furniture.  I'm even getting an elliptical that someone is getting rid of.  That will help with working out, so I'm happy.

Happiness Is...

All right.  After writing and deleting the first few sentences of this about five times, I'm deciding to open up and share something.  I have had a struggle for years with crippling depression and anxiety.  I have managed to finally get the depression part more or less under control, but that made the anxiety worse.  Much worse.  And opened the door to new problems.  But one thing at a time, right?  Anyway, I've been seeing someone, andI finally agreed to try some medication.  I have had bad luck (example: no bad, but no good emotions) with medications in the past, and that made me very nervous to try anything else.  Now I'm starting week five of my two new meds, and I think they may be working.  Others see it more than me, but that's a good thing, right?  So I'm redoubling my efforts to live.  I'm spinning more, spending some time outside, knitting again, finding more ways to actually enjoy things.  It sounds great on screen, but it's an ongoing process.  Side effects are worth living with, even though it will make getting to a healthier weight harder.  I already had issues with balance, so less balance is no biggie.  Things like that are worth more life to me.
Anyway, that's the big thing that has been going on in my life recently.  I hope it made sense.

On a more cheerful note, one thing I'm doing is actually trying out the whole 'selling' thing on Etsy.  Not much is on there, but I'm taking it slow, trying not to have a panic attack about doing this.  So yeah.  Maybe I'll even figure out how to add it to the side of the blog one day.  If you feel so inclined to check it out, my name is peanutbuster.

I hope you all have a great day, and enjoy it for what it is.

Fiber, Games, Family

First, an apology for being so negative and grumpy in the last post.  I just can't seem to figure out computer-y things like most people.  Sorry :(
The last month and a half have been pretty eventful for me.  My family's yearly vacation actually got split up into two parts, and I was lucky enough that I was able to go for all of it.  My grandparents have a small lake home on Lake Carlos that they so generously share with the family every year.  Many, many thanks to them (not that they would ever touch a computer, which I respect) for making my summer, every year.  And the fall.  Nothing beats watching my family members do their own polar bear plunge.  Anyway, our vacation always lines up with the Tour de Fleece.  This year only part of it lined up with it, so I brought my spinning wheel along for the ride.  It was awesome, and I got a lot done, considering all the other things we did.  I ended up spinning about 12 oz. and getting about 8 oz. plied up before the end.

I am happy with what I got done.

I just got back laaaaate wednesday night (technically thursday) from the second leg of the family vacation.  It was almost two weeks, and it was the BEST.  Lots of sun and water for swimming and tubing, lots of games with the family, especially shanghai (possibly my favorite card game), lots of movies for the nighttime (which gave me lots of time to spin!) and even a bit of wine from Carlos Creek Winery.  I actually have some color on my skin, and a smile on my face. 
I have to de-jungle-ize my garden, and clean the house majorly because the puppies stayed at our house and my husband had to come home a couple times for work, but it's worth it.  And he appreciates my cooking and cleaning even more :)

Grr. Just. Grr.

No one can find me, not even my mom, who's trying.  I can't figure out how to get the Flickr thing on the side.  Maybe I'm just not technologically savvy enough for blogging?
I've been spinning a lot, considering that I've been on vacation for most of the Tour.  Now I'm home, getting things re-organized, and trying to get my pictures posted.  They may not be good, but I'm doing the best I can.  So far I've spun about ten ounces, but have yet to ply anything.  I've been saving my club fiber for this, and I'm not regretting it :)

peanutbuster's photostream

peanutbuster's photostream on Flickr.

Birthday Fishing!

Andy (my husband) had his birthday recently.  So to surprise him, I made 46 cupcakes with my mom at her place.  I should have made them from scratch, but I only had time to use a box mix.  However, the frosting was homemade. There were 17 vanilla, 12 marble, and 17 chocolate.  I gave them random frosting designs, and brought them to his workplace.  He loved it!

On his actual birthday we were so busy with a baby shower and grad parties, we barely had time for the traditional family birthday at Mexican Village.  Luckily, we managed to get in everything we needed to.
The next day, we went up to my grandparent's cabin to get in some fishing!  We just used droplines, which are our favorites for smaller fish.  We tried going for sunnies, but the good places for them were either too choppy, or taken.  We made due, and caught some fish that we eventually let go.  I caught a crappie and two perch.  Andy just caught one perch, but he said he enjoyed just being with me and didn't need any fish :D

I have more pics at that flickr place, for friends only right now, and I'll see about facebook.

Art, food, camera

Hmm.  It's been a while.  Well, I told you (kinda) how hard it is for me to write.  Lack of bravery and all that.
At school, I got to take part in running the giant gas kiln for the first time.  The thing is, the gas kiln had been rebuilt, changing how it runs, so we were kind of flying blind.  We had a sheet of temperatures and such to follow, but no real guide.  ...To get to the right temps, we had to run the kiln longer than it was supposed to.  Much longer.  We found out later that we were using too much gas, causing the flames to loop, and stuff like that.  Some stuff sagged from the cooking, some cracked, some glazes dripped, and a lot of the colors didn't turn out like they were supposed to.  Oh well, chalk it up to a learning experience, and the teacher needing guinea pigs. Meh.  I still got some cool stuff out of it.
I do not own a camera.  So, every time I need one, I have to beg to borrow one from my family.  My brother owns a camera that he got for his birthday that he used once to take about three photos at a concert.  I actually used his camera, and in using it, got a mark on it.  He got mad, and won't let me use it anymore.  My mom has a really nice camera, but only lets me borrow it for tiny amounts of time, about once a year.  I understand, it's her baby.  I take what photos I can, when I can.  I want to get my own, but that costs money, and the money that I could have used on a camera got spent on something I consider to be much, MUCH more worth it: a spinning wheel.
My spinning wheel is amazing. She's big and powerful, but can still spin delicate soooooper tiny lace.  I like to spin on her whenever I can.  The only downside is that the lace I'm spinning could be likened to thread, and is taking forever.  I want more bobbins.  I have been spinning some stuff on the other bobbins that I already have.  I'd like to think they are pretty good.  If you want to find me on Ravelry, here I am: peanutbuster
Since the very beginning of January, I have started a babysitting job.  I watch a little six month old baby named Jeremy.  He's adorable.  The bee's knees.  Spiffarific.  And helps me with my baby urges.
I've also been taking advantage of my free time to cook like crazy.  I make bread nearly every day, and come up with lots of meal-type things.  My current favorite veggie is a leek.  So nummy.
So I've been being domestic, and working on some traditional women's art.  A nice start to the year.